I'm With You

I had another two hours to kill. Sat down at a cafe in the hotel opposite the bus station for a cup of tea. I had my fill of sightseeing.

Felt so miserable. My sojourn in Japan, almost over, in a flash. Read my journal. Recalled all the things that had happened in the past 3 weeks, all the new places, encounters and experiences. Everyday I woke up not knowing what was coming my way. There was expectation. There was anticipation. The joy of adventure and discovery. The past 3 weeks only accentuated how empty my life in Singapore was. Nothing happens in 3 weeks. Three weeks ago I was doing what I am doing today. Three weeks later I would be doing what I am doing today. Everyday I wake up knowing just what the day will bring. I am a drone. I am a zombie. Time just passes.

I did not want to return to the life I had. Its a comfortable existence. But I am made for more than just eat, sleep, work and play. My existence must mean something more.

The cafe played "I'm With You" by Avril Lavigne.

A smile broke out of my miserable countenance.

The last time I was on the road for this long a duration, was in my final year in university, 6 years back. I took 3 weeks, the entire Christmas break, to visit Prague, Budapest, Warsaw, Bratislava, Vienna, Venice and Barcelona. Another point in my life when I was seeking meaning and self-actualization. Everywhere I went, I heard "I'm With You" playing on the airwaves.

It's a damn cold night
I'm tryin' to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand?
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I'm, I'm with you

It was at that moment I realised nothing has changed since. I was seeking meaning and self-actualization then. I am still seeking the same things today. Maybe I might never find it. It just might elude me all my life. On my deathbed I want to go knowing I at least tried.